Are you finally in a great relationship? Are you afraid of blowing it? Being dishonest is a surefire way to ruin any relationship. We are not talking about little white lies that you tell to avoid hurting your partner’s feelings. We are talking about lies you tell your partner and lies you tell yourself. Here are five lies that will ruin your relationship:
5. “I don’t know that person.”
Lying about your relationships with other people paints “guilty” across your forehead. You act differently towards strangers than you do towards people you know. And you act flat out awkward around people you are pretending not to know. Come clean and mention the context in which you know people. “She hits on me at work.” or “I went on a date with him before I met you.” are “end-of-story” statements. They are not too detailed and reveal that you are not hiding anything. If you are worried about jealousy, just keep in mind that lying will only make it worse.
4. “I love you, too!”
A guaranteed way to ruin a budding relationship is to lie about your level of commitment. This can range from secretly dating others (a.k.a. having an affair) or omitting that you are insecure about getting serious. Not all people have blind faith in love and this is okay. Be open and honest about your feelings. “I like you a lot and I think love might be a future possibility” hurts to hear, but is better than the alternative. It is more disappointing to be lied to than to be told “I’m just not there yet.”
3. “You don’t have to worry about the money.”
Financial lies are one of the top causes of breakups and divorces. When it comes to finances, it is the business of both partners. So, telling your partner that they do not need to worry about it really means “it is none of your concern”. It can also be construed as “this is privileged information” or “I do not trust you with my money.” It is a flat out lie that your partner does not have a right to know about shared money.
2. “I’m sorry you feel that way!”
No, you aren’t. If you were, you would be saying a lot more than this. Although this lie is not as pungent as others, it can slowly lead to the demise of your relationship. This lie reveals that you are not able or willing to empathize with your partner. You are not considering your partner’s feelings. And you are certainly not sorry. Repeating this lie chips away at the foundation of a relationship…the ability to relate. If you cannot relate, then you are not really in a relationship.
1. “I’m fine.”
Another lie that poisons a relationship. Learning about you should not be a game of hide-and-go-seek. Be upfront with your feelings in both bad and good situations. If you are pissed, find a mature way to let your partner know. Hiding behind the phrase “I’m fine” could make your partner think that you do not trust them with your feelings. Or you might just like being withholding and playing games. Either way, it is a lie that will lead to relationship ruin.