Does Couples Therapy Work?

September 4, 2023

Couples therapy is becoming increasingly popular as people are starting to do away with the societal stigma that often comes with going to therapy. According to a study, about seventy percent of couples have issues that are not resolved, and this is the reason why some couples are choosing to get help from an unbiased third party. Going to therapy can also help couples discuss their issues in a way that brings about more understanding and clarity. A therapist can encourage and teach couples how to be truthful about their thoughts and feelings in a way that can produce a resolution. Many couples also choose therapy because they know subconsciously that they will have better self-control when talking about their issues if they are in front of a professional.

What Is Couples Therapy?

Couples therapy is the process of assisting couples with specific issues through healthy communication. Couples also explore their expectations for their relationship and eachperson within the couple can use therapy as a safe place to express their fears, concerns, and points of contention within the relationship.

Counseling can also remind couples of the character traits they admire about each other and the reason(s) they fell in love. A number of exercises are used in couples therapy, including writing thoughts and feelings down, playing games or using art as a form of expression and doing things outside of the counseling office to encourage intimacy, such as going on dates or making things more exciting in the bedroom.

How Effective Is It?

Couples counseling can be effective in situations where couples are having a hard time communicating with each other. If couples find that all of their discussions turn into arguments, or if one or more parties doesn't feel comfortable expressing needs and wants for fear that the other party won't understand or take the needs and wants seriously, counseling can be effective. Couples counseling can assist people in communicating even if they get emotional, and can provide tactics that keep people from shutting down when they are sad or angry. Counseling can help individuals take ownership of their feelings and convey them in a way that is easier for their mates to understand, and hopefully tear down any communication barriers they may have and solve their problems.

Why And Who Does It Benefit?

There are numerous relationship benefits to seeking couples therapy. Couples will get the tools they need to avoid heated disagreements in which they may say something hurtful when they are emotionally distressed or in a vulnerable state. Counselors may also teach couples to wait until they have calmed down before discussing issues that are sore spots in the relationship. Couples who find that they are growing apart as individuals and developing new interests, hobbies, or life philosophies may also want to turn to therapy to find ways to continue to be fulfilled within the relationship. Couples also learn how to use the techniques they've learned in counseling at home to change the way they relate to each other and communicate. Overall, therapy not only benefits the couple themselves, but those who surround them; their children, family, and friends, as hopefully they will be happier as a result of therapy.

Reasons Why It Fails

Some of the reasons that couples therapy doesn't work, either at all or immediately, includes cases of mental and physical abuse or infidelity. If both parties are not committed to getting the most out of counseling, the process will not be effective. If one or both parties are too hurt or angry due to cheating or abuse that has occurred in the relationship, this could keep counseling from working as well. In these cases, it may be best for individuals to undergo separate counseling to work through their feelings and to figure out if they are enabling toxic behavior within the relationship.

Unfortunately, abusers and cheaters in relationships are sometimes not open to counseling because they are not ready to hear that they are in the wrong and need to put in the work and effort necessary to sustain the relationship and get it back on the right track. Counseling forces people to look at their flaws, be honest about them and find methods for resolution. This is why the process can be incredibly difficult for some individuals and why they may never benefit from counseling sessions. However, if a person is in an abusive or disloyal relationship, sometimes the best bet is to simply leave, as therapy may be futile in saving a ship that has already sunk.

Couples Need To Want Help

Couples therapy only truly works if both parties in the relationship are willing to get counseling, and want to learn and grow from it. Both individuals have to be willing to do the work assigned by the counselor and have to be committed to working both individually and together to face reality. Both individuals also need to be vulnerable and put their pride aside so that the relationship truly has a chance to thrive. Some couples find that attending individual sessions with the same counselor can help them gain confidence in their communication style and bring a sense of renewal to their relationship. Overall, counseling can give couples great perspective when they realize the impact that their relationship can have on their futures and sense of well-being.

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