There are some individuals out there who are all but impossible to get along with. Their arrogance causes them to see themselves as all but infallible while everyone else deserves to be criticized intensely. These individuals are known as narcissists, and it's very likely you know at least one. Narcissists are manipulative and can learn to cover up their nature when someone is first getting to know them, though over time, they will often reveal their true selves. Should you feel like someone is emotionally abusing you or is unable to take any criticism, you might be dealing with a narcissist. These are some signs of a narcissist.
They Have A Sense Of Entitlement
A key aspect of narcissists is they have a sense of entitlement. Everyone deserves things like equal protection under the law, but narcissists are particularly entitled. If they don't get their way, they become upset, because, in a narcissist's mind, the world is supposed to revolve around them. Positive moments in life are positive because they're entitled to them. Negative moments aren't supposed to happen to them. The world isn't going to be fair for everyone, but narcissists can believe this is a personal slight against them and not just a matter of bad luck or unfortunate circumstances. When one can't begin to understand the concept of rolling with the punches, they're likely a narcissist.
Continue reading to reveal the next key indicator of a narcissist.
They Expect To Be Admired
Narcissists don't just want to be admired; they expect to be admired. Compliments don't just make them feel good. They also fuel them. If a narcissist isn't being showered with praise, they can become agitated. Their existence is implied to be some sort of immaculate gift others must recognize.
Conversely, their need for admiration means they will reject criticism outright. Narcissists are incredibly concerned with their self-image, but they won't accept any kind of advice. Bitter feelings grow larger until they consume the narcissist entirely. To a narcissist, they are not the ones who need to change, but the rest of the world is.
Get to know the next warning sign of a narcissist now.
They Exaggerate Their Life
To give narcissists some credit, they're excellent dramatists, and they can turn the most mundane details of their lives into the most outrageous, unbelievable stories. These are often too good to be true, because they're actually lies. Their need to impress causes narcissists to stretch the truth or omit facts to fit their narrative better. It's a defense mechanism that makes it difficult for narcissists to form trustworthy relationships. Real friends don't judge you based on your failures, but narcissists will think their self-worth is determined by their ability to recount successes. It can work for them too, until they get caught in a lie and have to explain themselves. The more narcissists exaggerate their life, the weaker the grasp they have on reality is.
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They Believe They Are Superior
Confidence is a quality everyone should strive towards. However, there is a difference between having faith in yourself and knowing your strengths and believing you are number one at everything. Narcissists let their egos get the best of them, and they always believe they are superior. Their superiority complex causes them to think anyone who dares criticize or challenge them is delusional. If a narcissist faces any obstacles, they'll try to find faults with the system. Getting through to narcissists can be difficult because they are convinced their supposed superiority protects them from criticism. Narcissists view themselves as immortal, while everyone else is merely human.
It's time to reveal the next key indicator of a narcissist.
They Take Advantage Of Others And Lack Empathy
Narcissists are a danger to others as well as themselves. Getting to know a narcissist can be difficult as they take advantage of others and lack empathy. Shows of kindness will be preyed upon, as narcissists see generosity as something they can exploit. A relationship with a narcissist doesn't follow what a healthy relationship is supposed to be. Narcissists believe relationships are a matter of power, and if they feel their power is being thwarted, they'll become hostile. Empathy is a challenge for narcissists because they have a hard time putting themselves in another individual's shoes (or even cannot do so). To a narcissist, everything must be catered to their demands and be based on their perspective.
Keep reading to discover another sign of narcissism many may not be aware of.
They Live In A Fantasy World
To put it simply, many individuals who have narcissistic tendencies or have been diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder are typically delusional and choose to live in their own fantasy world rather than in reality, since real life does not support their grandiose view of themselves. This fantasy world of theirs tends to revolve around distortion of the truth, self-deception, and magical thinking as they believe in these self-glorifying illusions they have about themselves involving success, wealth, power, attractiveness, intelligence, and love that makes them feel in control and special. Unfortunately, these fantasies are just a mask to protect the narcissist from their feelings of inner emptiness and shame, therefore, any facts or opinions that contradict them are either ignored or rationalized to meet their perspective on things. Anything that threatens to destroy their fantasy bubble is often met with rage and defensiveness as well, which can turn into violence if the narcissist feels threatened enough.
Next, learn about another classic sign of narcissism.
Demeans, Intimidates & Bullies Others
When a narcissist feels threatened, such as when their views about themselves, others, and the world do not match their made-up fantasies, or they encounter someone who appears to have a quality they lack, such as real confidence and popularity, they tend to demean and bully the other person. Narcissists will also belittle anyone who challenges them or won't submit to their will as well, causing the narcissist to use cruel tactics like bullying and intimidation to get what they want.
The only way they know how to neutralize a threat and to improve their diminishing ego is to bully and demean the other individual into submission. They may do this in a dismissive or patronizing manner to prove the individual means nothing to them (which is often not true) or they might attack with insults, name-calling, bullying, and threaten the other person to back off and know their place. Do these tactics work? Not always, especially if a non-narcissist can outwit the narcissist or are aware of these signs and can act accordingly to handle the situation in an appropriate manner.
Reveal why a narcissist needs to always be in control, next.
The Need To Be Controlling
Considering narcissists tend to be continually disappointed when life unfolds imperfectly and not the way they want it to, they want to do as much as possible to control any situation life throws at them and mold it to their liking. Not only do narcissists want to be in control but they tend to demand to be in control of things as their strong sense of entitlement makes it appear to be logical that they should be in control of everything and everyone around them. For instance, narcissists tend to have a storyline in mind for each individual or 'character' in their life when it comes to what others say and do.
But, when others do not behave the way the narcissist wants them to, they become unsettled and easily upset as they do not know what to expect next as others and things are not going according to their plan. A textbook narcissist demands others say or do whatever they want so they can reach their delusional goals, as other people are simply characters in their play, as they often will not consider others a real human being with thoughts and feelings. Be mindful of this when dealing with a narcissist, as it will make handling their controlling nature easier!
Uncover why narcissists are often perfectionists now.
They Strive For Perfection
In relation to their controlling personality, a narcissist often has an extremely high need and expectation for everything in their life, from work to people, to be perfect. They believe they should be perfect in all aspects, and as a result of these high expectations, they want those in their lives to be perfect, and events should happen as expected, with life perfectly unfolding for them. Unfortunately, life does not happen that way. Not only is this an inconceivable and impossible demand, these expectations often leave a narcissist feeling dissatisfied and miserable majority of the time. This often results in them becoming irritable and constantly complaining about their woes rather than coping with the unexpected and putting a positive spin on life as they lack the mental capacity and tools to do so as those who do not have this disorder do.
Continue reading to explore another major sign of narcissism everyone should be aware of.
They Lack Accountability And Blame Others
A classic sign of narcissism and probably one of the most difficult to deal with is a narcissist's lack of accountability and how they blame others for their problems or faults. Although a narcissist generally wants to be in control, ironically, they never want the responsibility that comes with this role, the results and consequences for their actions, unless, of course, everything goes their way. However, when things do not go according to their plan or they feel criticized, a narcissist will place the responsibility and blame on others who are involved, as it always has to be someone else's fault when things are not perfect. In some situations, the blame is generalized, such as all bosses, teachers, coworkers, friends, family, politicians and professionals, and so on, are to blame.
In other cases, the narcissist may specifically target an individual or rule to blame for their faults rather than owning up to their mistake and correcting it. Sadly, most often a narcissist will target and blame the individual closest to them; the most emotionally attached, the most loyal, and loving person in their life, most often their significant other, best friend, or parent. Again, to maintain this facade of perfection, a narcissist will always have to blame others or things for their mistakes, and often those closest to them are the easiest to blame because they are the least likely to reject or leave them. Stand your ground and hold them accountable, as not only is it the right thing to do, but the only way for you to come out of a potentially messy situation unscathed.
Next, find out the role boundaries play when it comes to narcissism.
They Lack Boundaries
Another classic sign that is easily spottable is narcissists tend to lack boundaries with anyone in their lives as they cannot accurately see where they end and where another individual begins. For instance, they believe everything belongs to them, everyone thinks, feels, and acts as they do, and everyone has similar goals as they do, which is all not true. Essentially, they do not share and do not know how to as their perspective in this respect, is incredibly similar to a toddler. Everyone is different and will act, say, and feel what is true to them. Hence, a narcissist is shocked and highly insulted when they are told no or to do something that does not line up with their desires. If a narcissist wants something from someone, they will go to great lengths to figure out and conjure up a plan to get it with manipulation tactics, threats, or simply a temper tantrum. When a narcissist begins to overstep their boundaries, again, stand your ground and keep them in their place by expressing your needs and not letting them get away with their selfish behavior.
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Expect Attention And Validation
One of the classic signs of a narcissist is they expect attention and validation. It's important to note wanting or expecting validation isn't necessarily an automatic sign of narcissism. In fact, it's healthy to expect others will offer support and validation when it's needed. The problem is when this goes to an unhealthy level. For example, an individual expecting constant attention from those who aren't close to them is sometimes a sign of entitlement. In addition, it's not healthy to expect individuals to provide attention at the cost of their own well-being, or to expect attention without providing any reciprocal support. Humans need validation and attention to thrive, but narcissists tend to expect it because they believe they're entitled to the energy of others. They may become agitated when they aren't shown attention, and they may refuse to accept contradicting points of view or potential conflict.
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Driven By Hidden Fears
A narcissist will often be driven by hidden fears. Though they may seem self-obsessed and entitled, these behaviors can often hide a deep sense of insecurity and lack of satisfaction. It's important to remember narcissistic personality disorder causes deep distress to the individual who has it as well as those surrounding them. Narcissists may have deep-seated fears of being abandoned or rejected, which are often informed by experiences they've had with others. They may be afraid of being proved wrong or having to acknowledge their own flaws. Their seeming sense of self-importance might be a defense mechanism to keep them from needing to acknowledge their own imperfections.
Get familiar with more signs of a narcissist now.
Unable to Truly Be Vulnerable
A narcissist is often unable to truly be vulnerable, which can lead to serious problems with emotional intimacy. Narcissists may view vulnerability as a form of weakness, or they may be afraid vulnerability will cause them to be abandoned or hurt. Some narcissists may also dislike vulnerability in others and be unable to show emotional support. This can also make it difficult for narcissists to seek treatment. They're unlikely to express they're experiencing true distress in their day-to-day lives, since this opens them to vulnerability. Instead, they might throw shallow temper tantrums when they don't get the attention they're looking for.
Read more about the major indicators of narcissists now.
Talks Over And Interrupts Others
One classic sign of a narcissist is an individual who talks over and interrupts others. You might encounter these behaviors in close familial and romantic relationships, friendships, or work relationships. A narcissist will often interrupt others or talk over them because they don't consider the input of others valuable. They struggle to listen to what others are saying, especially if it conflicts with their own opinions or views. Another element contributing to this is a sense of attention-seeking. Narcissists may interrupt others because they believe their own voice and point of view is more important. They want to be the center of attention and to be acknowledged, rather than waiting for their turn to speak.
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Can Be Quite Charming And Persuasive
In many cases, narcissists can be quite charming and persuasive. They may be good at consciously or subconsciously manipulating others. A narcissist likes to get attention by being the 'life of the party.' They may exaggerate their own life experiences, tell outlandish stories, and be loud and overly friendly. Many narcissists seem passionate and charming at the start of a relationship, but when the relationship progresses, their inability to connect on a fundamental level becomes apparent. A manipulative narcissist may be able to convince others to do things they don't want to do or to provide attention at the cost of their own well-being.