Useful Tips To Help You Feel Better About Yourself
Living in the age of social media, where you can instantly connect with friends and family, makes it so much easier to keep in touch. While seeing status updates change from "Single" to "Married," or news of your friend’s big promotion at work are a call for celebration, it can be just as easy to feel the opposite: pangs of jealousy or anxiety about your own accomplishments in life. Here are a few points to keep in mind to help you deal with these feelings:
Be Specific About What Exactly Is Making You Feel Bad
Avoid generalizing statements such as “I am not accomplished enough” and get really specific about what areas you feel unaccomplished in. Take a pen to paper and journal about what is making you feel unfulfilled. For instance, if you feel like a failure because you do not own a home yet, then put things into perspective. Is it out of lack or trying, or have there been challenges in the way? Your money might be tied up in paying off debts like student loans. Or you may live in an expensive city where home ownership is out of reach for most people. Seeing the reality of the situation may help you understand what could be different, and perhaps worse, if you chose to own a home.
Stop Comparing Your Life To Others
Mashup Corner
When you are feeling less than your best and your confidence is wavering, Instagram or Facebook is the last place you should be. Scrolling online and seeing everyone’s perfectly filtered little lives is like comparing our insides to someone else’s outside. It is much easier to control what we share with the outside world, giving others the false idea that we are doing perfectly fine when we may be falling apart. When we constantly judge ourselves against others without knowing how they really feel or what it took for them to get there, it is easy to feel unaccomplished. Research has shown that more than two hours of social networking a day can lead to psychological distress. Take regular social media detoxes for your mental health.
Define Success In Your Own Terms
Success will look different to every person. People’s priorities, values and experiences in life influence what success means to them. Take stock of what those things are for you. Get down in writing what success looks like to you. If your family takes precedence over your career, perhaps staying home to raise your children is what success means to you. For another parent, success may mean making partner at work. And for another parent, success may mean working part-time in order to be home when their kids finish school. There are as many ways to define success as there are people in the world.
View Your Failures Objectively
Everyone fails at one point or another. Even taking our first steps in life resulted in multiple failures until one day we just started walking. Failure is the norm and can teach us valuable lessons if we allow it to. Look at your failures without judgment and brainstorm what you can do differently for next time. This is an accomplishment in itself. It also gives you a proactive approach to move forward. See failure as just another step towards success. If you need to take some time to grieve the failure, do so, but then pick yourself back up and keep moving ahead.
Build A Holistic Life
Froothie
Avoid putting too much emphasis on a single part of your life to define your whole life. It is easy to find confidence and meaning in an aspect of life that you are good at, such as your job. When things do not go well, it is equally as easy to lose confidence and feel worthless. But even if you are great at your job, it is not the only thing that defines you. Approach your life holistically and acknowledge all the things that make you who you are. If you are a good parent, friend, or neighbor, let those things be part of your identity too. Also, it's important to know is that if you happen to lose a friend or even your marriage, this does not define what or who you are.
Reaffirm What Your Values Are
Feeling unsuccessful leads to discontent and unhappiness. However, success and happiness are not necessarily defined by accomplishing something or attaining a status of achievement. When you dig deep and ask yourself what your core values are, you may realize that you already have success. If the values of kindness, loyalty and honesty are important to you and that fulfilling these traits feels better than accomplishing your goals, then you may see your idea of success beginning to shift, leading to more peace and contentment with your life. Or if you are lacking in your core values, think about taking action to bring those values back into your life. This may cause you to re-evaluate your life goals for the better.
Slow Down Your Life
Being busy is worn like a badge of honor in our 24/7 world. There is a false assumption that being busy means we are productive and successful. Trading sleep to do more is considered valuable. However, nothing could be further from the truth. When we allow ourselves down time to journal, play music or just to rest, we are allowing our most thoughtful and creative ideas to come out. Successful people often give themselves the creative space to do what they need to do to think and relax. Research has proven that these relaxing methods stimulate innovation while lowering stress levels. Giving ourselves the space and time to unwind and think with no agenda makes us more mindful while giving us a sense of purpose.