Being a parent is a huge responsibility and many parents will feel that when their child is not doing well in life, they have failed. Good parenting is developing a child that has empathy, self-esteem, honesty and self-control. They will be happier, motivated by a desire to achieve when nurtured properly. Later in life, this will help the child through adolescence protecting them from eating disorders and anti-social behavior to mention only a couple of the upcoming challenges.
Well-adapted children are less likely to turn to drugs and alcohol through their teen years as they become focused on intellectual curiosities instead. Your relationship with your child will reflect on how they act. If you have a good relationship, your kids will listen to you. If you do not, they will ignore you, with no reasonable possibility of teaching them anything.
10. Be Your Best
Be the kind of person you wish your children to grow up to be. Continue to strive for goals and be a positive influence on your kids. Avoid talking about other people or being rude to the individual who bags your groceries for example. Your children look up to you so what you do, they will likely mimic. Keep yourself busy and do things that allow you to feel good as well. Your child will see this and integrate it into their development.
9. Shower Them with Real Love
When we say real love, it is not about spoiling a child by giving them leniency or lowering your expectations. It is about figuring out what’s best for the child even if there are some growing pains involved. It is also about showing support when they do not feel good so that when they are down, they will come to you. Giving your child material possessions instead of your time or real emotions is not what real love is about. Guide them in the right direction through their life and practice kindness.
8. Be Present
Being a parent is time-consuming and challenging, but it is important to be involved in your children’s development. You might have to change the person you once were and reconsider your priorities which can mean sacrifices. Your child is going to need you for the various challenges they go through as they learn and develop. Help them out with their homework, watch them when they play sports and listen to them when they talk. The list of challenges can be a long one as can the list of rewards when you are in the moment with your children.
7. Be Adaptable
Children grow up quickly so be sure to keep up with their development. A child’s behavior will change as they develop and you will have to adapt to each stage. Know the reasoning behind their behavior. For example, the independence of a three-year-old is what makes them say “no” to everything. This independence will be the same drive to motivate them to be toilet trained.
Pay attention to what your child is doing and find out the reasons this might be happening. Especially during adolescence, watch out for possible depression issues. It may not be a behavioral problem that is making them argumentative. Don’t push your children if they are not excelling, instead find solutions.
6. Create Guidelines And Stick With Them
It is important to guide the behavior of your child at an early age, or they will have a hard time later. The rules you give to your child and continue to stick with will shape who they are and how they behave. Be sure not to micromanage your child and allow them to make their own choices as they get older, so they can learn how to be accountable.
5. Give them Freedom of Independence
While it is important to set limits for your child to give them a sense of self-control, you should also encourage independence to make their own choices within those limits. Allowing them to make their own decisions develops self-direction in them. Don’t mistake their need for independence as disobedience. It is natural for them to want control over their life instead of someone else having control over them. The less independence you give them, the more they are going to push for it.
4. Consistency is Key
It is important to be consistent about the rules you impose on your child. If they change from day to day with a change of disciplinary action, your commitment will be challenged. If you are inconsistent in your actions for the same misbehavior, they will not understand.
Have certain non-negotiable rules and tell your child what they are. Your authority should be based on wisdom as opposed to power. Trying to power trip your children will only force them to challenge it by nature.
3. Discipline with Kindness
Being a parent means disciplining from time to time. It is not recommended to ever spank your child no matter what. This is clearly an issue of abuse not to mention; it gives them the message that aggression is a means to solving a problem. Disciplining your child can include things like a “time out.” A child sitting in silence for a few minutes will allow them to think about what they have done and look to ways to modify disruptive behavior.
2. Have Conversations About Expectations
Explaining to your children what your expectations are should be done with forethought. Parents will tend to explain in great detail to younger children what is right or wrong. As the kids get older and they become adolescents, the explanations tend to get shorter. They still need you to help them through the challenges. Let your children know at any age what your expectations are and why.
1. Respect Your Child
If you want your child to give you respect, you must teach them what that means. The best way to do this is to lead by example. Be polite when you speak to them and respect their opinions when they share them with you. Pay attention when they talk to you and respond if necessary. If your child is a picky eater, don’t force them to eat food they do not like, or they will begin to see dinner time as unpleasant. Tell them things like your shopping plans, what you need and how long it will take. When it comes to respect - you get what you give.