Being a new relationship can feel exhilarating. Suddenly, everything seems to taste better, colors are brighter, strangers are nicer and your energy level peaks to heights you wish were normal for you. Hanging onto that new romance though can be a different story. To help prevent the usual crash and burn of the new relationship, take the time to read these essential books and gain the skills you need to master a relationship for love that endures.
The Five Love Languages: The Secret To Love That Lasts By Gary Chapman
Speaking in your partner's love language will bring you closer together. Learn the main love language of your partner and make sure to speak in their language on a daily basis. The five languages include receiving gifts (find out what types of 'gifts' your partner likes to receive, it is the intention behind the gift that is valued by the receiver), acts of service (take initiative to help relieve your partner of some of his/her burdens), physical touch (give a hug, reassuring squeeze), words of affirmation (be free with sincere compliments) and quality time (make yourself available to your partner). Most people tend to speak in one of these love languages more than the others so speaking in your partner's preferred language will have more impact.
Rising Strong By Brené Brown
It takes courage to allow yourself to be honest and vulnerable. The world can seem like a tough place and as a result, it may sometimes feel as though the only way to survive in it is by wearing an imposing exterior. In other words, characteristics like transparency and vulnerability do not seem relevant in the adult world and only appear applicable to children. The truth is, when you deny these aspects of yourself, you prevent intimacy in your relationships. Brené Brown describes the role of vulnerability in a relationship and how and why it is essential for true intimacy and for creating that spark and keeping it alive.
If You Want Big Love, You’re Going To Have To Go After It By Heidi Priebe
In a similar theme, Heidi Priebe discusses vulnerability in her essay on love and explains that it is vital to not be afraid to show your partner who you truly are inside. If you want a mediocre type of love relationship then by all means, hide who you truly are and be passive and uninteresting, but if you are looking for a ‘big love,’ then you have to be yourself, fully and not be afraid to express who you are. She also explains that what people essentially fall in love with is honesty. That means people fall in love with the realness of you, and that is how you must express yourself for a more exciting and intimate relationship with your partner.
All The Words Are Yours By Tyler Knott Gregson
Poems are appreciated all around the world for their aesthetic qualities. The emotions that the carefully chosen words evoke, the rhythm and rhyme, the visuals stimulated, all help capture one's romantic imagination. Poetry touches all the senses and when that poetry is about love, it can really help create a spark in your relationship and keep the flame burning too. Try reading your new partner a love poem every day by Tyler Knott Gregson. He became famous by posting his romantic poems daily on social media and now people are being inspired to love sweeter and deeper every day, all over the world.
This Is How I Fell In Love With You By Karissa Ekwall
Karissa Ekwall implicitly poses many interesting questions in her essay on love and inspires rumination about what makes one fall in love and why. According to her essay, she makes clear that it was not only happy experiences with her former partner that made her fall in love over time, but it was the entire spectrum of experiences, including sad and miserable ones. The way she writes openly and honestly about her feelings of love will squeeze your heart strings and may cause you to shed a tear or two. You may also find yourself nodding in agreement over her depiction of the uncertainty and mystery that is love.
Eleanor & Park By Rainbow Rowell
Most people enjoy a good love story about star-crossed love. That is because star-crossed lovers are doomed to fail and almost everybody has had experience with at least one love that got away. In this sweet, young adult romance, two star-crossed lovers experience life and love together in a modern and realistic setting. The interracial protagonists in the novel must deal with themes like abuse in the family, bullying at school, growing up in a complicated world, and of course, love. This book will leave you pondering about the many facets of love and the role it can play in our lives.
The 7 Relationship Questions You Must Ask Yourself in 2017 By Amy Chan -Verily Mag
Figure out who you are as much possible before diving into your new relationship. If you have ever experienced conflict within yourself, you can imagine the added complications of including a significant other into the mix. There is a lot of room for misunderstanding and consequently, for a relationship to fail. That is why in her essay, Amy Chan poses all the essential questions you need to ask yourself about you and your relationship. Questions such as “How would you date if you had no past?” can only benefit you as you grow as an individual, and also embark on your new relationship.
The Lover’s Dictionary By David Levithan
This just might be the one time you enjoy reading a dictionary. Imagine what your new romance might look like if it were written up in a dictionary and you can select the words to define. That is what David Levithan did with his romance novel. He offers a unique perspective on love, one that plays with words. Themes are sometimes gritty, sometimes sweet, sometimes heartrending, often realistic for some. For an intimate view into the love life of one modern-day protagonist, read this. Though perhaps not intended, there are many helpful to-dos and also not-to-dos that might help you navigate your relationship.
Three Good Reasons Not To Lose Yourself In a New Relationship By Mary Brodeur -Verily Mag
Personal boundaries are important in any relationship. No one wants to be emotionally, mentally or physically violated by another. At the beginning of a relationship, due to the tendency to spend a lot of time with your partner and the desire to be close, it is not always easy to maintain your usual boundaries. But not maintaining good boundaries can have the opposite effect desired and can cause the relationship to crash and burn. Learning to keep your boundaries and pace the relationship is essential for a long-term stable and happy relationship. Author Mary Brodeur discusses the subject of boundaries in her essay and gives essential advice.
Milk And Honey By Rupi Kaur
Canadian author, Rupi Kaur, writes profoundly about love and life from a feminist perspective. Milk and Honey is a collection of poetry and prose about themes including love, loss, femininity, abuse, violence, and survival. Her book has four chapters, and each chapter serves a different function. One chapter may deal with a particular type of pain, while another addresses the healing of a particular heartbreak. In her poetry, Rupi Kaur delves into the depths of women’s experiences and emotions and always has a positive message for women. If you are seeking female encouragement and care about women’s issues, this book is a wonderful read.
What Shamu Taught Me About Life, Love, And Marriage
Training a spouse to learn good habits is not as difficult as it sounds. This hilarious and honest essay by Amy Sutherland published in Modern Love in The New York Times describes the similarities between training animals and teaching spouses to learn new habits. She explains techniques like the ‘least reinforcing syndrome’ used by dolphin trainers and effectively uses the technique to reduce her own husband’s temper. She describes molding other aspects of her husband’s behavior and personality using various other techniques. In the end, her quick-learning husband picks up a technique himself and effectively uses it on the author.