Signs Your Child Is Stressed & How To Help Them Cope
As parents, providers, and caretakers, we want the very best for our children and would do anything to ensure they are happy and healthy. But as adults, we tend to view the world of children as innocent, happy, and carefree, and forget they too can have their own worries and anxieties that cause great distress within their young lives. Kids can worry about a multitude of things, such as family issues, school, and peer pressure. In fact, children often suffer in silence, but let’s break that toxic cycle. Keep reading to unearth what can be causing stress for your child, the signs and symptoms parents should be aware of, and different coping methods both parents and children can use to lessen their anxiety.
What Is 'Childhood' Stress?
Childhood stress can be present during any period of a young child’s life and in any environment that requires them to adapt or change. A child, just like an adult, can experience stress caused by positive and exciting changes, such as starting a new activity or starting school, but is commonly related to negative changes such as an illness or death in the family, or their parents separating. In small doses, stress can be good and a learning curve for a child to develop their own coping methods to foster their problem-solving skills and help them better manage stress as an adult. However, excessive stress can affect how a child thinks, acts, feels, and develops overall. As a result, even small changes that are not necessarily negative can impact a child’s feelings of safety and stability.
Sources Of Stress
Stress can affect anyone who feels overwhelmed due to certain situations that arise, even children. For instance, in preschoolers and younger children, separation from their parents or caretakers can cause great anxiety, also known as separation anxiety. As children age, academic and social pressures, especially when they are just trying to fit in and belong and even figure out who they are, can create stressful situations. Another common source of stress is many kids today are too busy or overwhelmed with the amount or type of extracurricular activities they participant in, and therefore feel like they do not have enough time after school to play creatively or relax. Overscheduling kids can happen, and the best bet for parents is to talk to their kids about their activities and how they feel about them. If they complain, try discussing the positive and negative attributes of the activity and either eliminate it or explore ways you can help manage your child’s responsibilities and time to lessen their anxiety.
Sources Of Stress Continued
Other sources of stress for children is they may be worried about what is going on in their family, such as if they hear their parents discussing their work issues or arguing, worrying about sick relatives, the death of a family member, and even separation or divorce. Parents should be aware of how they discuss personal and family issues in front of their children as kids are highly mouldable and will pick up on their parents’ anxieties and start worrying themselves. World news and social media can also be a source of stress, as children who view disturbing images or content online or in the media can begin to worry about their own safety and self-image, and start to stress about who they are and their place in the world. Parents should realize certain things that are not a big deal to adults can cause a significant amount of stress for kids, and let your children know you understand they are stressed and do not dismiss how they are feeling, but rather acknowledge it.
Signs & Symptoms Parents Should Look For
While it may not always be obvious or even easy to recognize for many parents, when children experience stress, short-term behavioral changes can be a clear sign something is going on in your child’s life. Some of the physical, emotional, and behavioral signs your child may exhibit if they are stressed out include mood swings, acting out, changes in their sleep pattern such as constantly waking up in the middle of the night, bedwetting, trouble concentrating or completing homework, or they become withdrawn or socially isolated.
Younger children may form new habits such as thumb sucking, hair twirling, or nose picking, while older children may also begin to lie, bully, or defy authority. A stressed-out kid may also overreact to minor issues that arise, experience nightmares, become overly clingy, become aggressive, and have drastic changes in their academic performance, as they may go from being a student who gets As and Bs to earning Cs and Ds. Some typical physical symptoms include headaches, chest pain, a rapid heartbeat, stomach aches, and fatigue.
Reducing Your Child’s Stress
How can a parent help their child reduce their stress and anxiety in what seems like a constantly stressed-out world? For starters, ensuring your child gets proper rest and great nutrition at home can help boost their coping skills. Additionally, good parenting is a great help, as parents who make time for their kids every day can greatly lessen the amount of stress and anxiety their child faces. Whether the child just needs to talk or be in your presence, parents should make themselves available for whenever their child needs them. Remember, do not try to force your kid to talk about what is going on, as sometimes children just feel better when they spend time with their parents and do fun activities with them.
By expressing interest in your child, their needs, and what they enjoy, parents are openly communicating to the child they are important and they will be there for them no matter what, which can be incredibly comforting during a difficult time. Remind your child some stress is normal and it is okay to feel angry, frustrated, scared, lonely, or anxious, and other individuals experience the same emotions and situations they do as well. Reassurance is essential, and parents should always remind their kids they are confident they can handle the situation and manage their own stress in their life.
Helping Your Child Cope
If your child refuses to discuss their problems with you, sometimes it can be helpful to try talking about your own and show them it is okay to be vulnerable and honest about their feelings and what they are dealing with. As a parent, you are their role model and therefore lead by example. This further proves you, the adult, are willing to tackle tough subjects and are available to talk whenever your child is ready. Help your child cope by discussing what is causing their stress and come up with solutions together of how to manage their stress and anxiety, or even eliminate it. If your child is unwilling to talk or shows concerning symptoms or you notice they worsen, consult a therapist or other mental health professional. Beyond talking, some helpful solutions are to cut back on after-school or weekend activities, spend more time talking and doing activities with them, and encourage your children to even speak to other trusted adults such as their teachers, counselors, and even their close friends.
Coping Methods Continued
Parents should also limit their child's screen time to only two hours a day, and encourage them to play more. Other great coping methods for stress and anxiety include developing a healthy exercise routine that will alleviate their stress, encouraging them to start journaling and writing down their feelings, participating in stress-reducing activities such as yoga and breathing techniques, or even spending more time with their pets or other animals, such as a therapy animal. Children are even encouraged to practice mindfulness, which is being present in the moment in a non-judging way and helps individuals become aware of patterns of habits that can lead to suffering, and reminds them they have a choice in how they respond to stressful situations. To learn more about mindfulness, check out Beginner's Guide To Mindfulness.
The most important thing parents can do is be present for their child when they are ready to deal with their stress, and hopefully, some of these tips can help alleviate your child’s stress and get them back to being their wonderfully awesome self!