Lies That Will Ruin Your Relationship

"I Don't Talk to My Ex."

"I don't talk to my ex." That's a perfectly fine sentiment - when it's not a lie. But when it is a lie, there are a ton of factors at play that contribute to the downfall of the relationship. Talking to your ex isn't the problem. The problem is you felt the need to lie about it. This isn't necessarily confirmation you still have feelings for your ex. Plenty of individuals talk to their exes without having any desire to rekindle the relationship. But it does mean you have decided there's a reason to keep your partner from knowing you talk to your ex.

Is it because your partner is jealous? Are they trying to control who you do or don't speak to? Are they suffering from insecurity so severe that they believe your ex is a threat? Do you have feelings for your ex? Is there a turbulent history with your ex that means they'd be better off outside your life? Whatever the reason, you need to unpack what's behind the lie and address it to keep your relationship healthy.

"They're Just a Friend."

"They're just a friend." That's a big, messy statement when it's a lie. Sometimes individuals say it when they've already acted on their feelings for the third party. Sometimes they say it because they're denying their feelings exist, or that they matter enough to act on. It's natural for you to experience attraction to people other than your partner. In a healthy relationship, you can acknowledge it and move on. Your partner can also acknowledge it and move on because they won't feel so possessive or jealous that your feelings for another person are a threat.

Some couples even practice a system called ethical non-monogamy, which is where partners pursue multiple romantic or sexual relationships while being totally open and transparent with everyone involved. But if you were doing that, you wouldn't have to lie. What unhealthy dynamics are driving you to lie about this situation? Do you doubt the strength of your own relationship? Do you want a relationship with the other person more than you want your partner?