Does Couples Therapy Work?
Why And Who Does It Benefit?
There are numerous relationship benefits to seeking couples therapy. Couples will get the tools they need to avoid heated disagreements in which they may say something hurtful when they are emotionally distressed or in a vulnerable state. Counselors may also teach couples to wait until they have calmed down before discussing issues that are sore spots in the relationship. Couples who find that they are growing apart as individuals and developing new interests, hobbies, or life philosophies may also want to turn to therapy to find ways to continue to be fulfilled within the relationship. Couples also learn how to use the techniques they've learned in counseling at home to change the way they relate to each other and communicate. Overall, therapy not only benefits the couple themselves, but those who surround them; their children, family, and friends, as hopefully they will be happier as a result of therapy.
Reasons Why It Fails
Some of the reasons that couples therapy doesn't work, either at all or immediately, includes cases of mental and physical abuse or infidelity. If both parties are not committed to getting the most out of counseling, the process will not be effective. If one or both parties are too hurt or angry due to cheating or abuse that has occurred in the relationship, this could keep counseling from working as well. In these cases, it may be best for individuals to undergo separate counseling to work through their feelings and to figure out if they are enabling toxic behavior within the relationship.
Unfortunately, abusers and cheaters in relationships are sometimes not open to counseling because they are not ready to hear that they are in the wrong and need to put in the work and effort necessary to sustain the relationship and get it back on the right track. Counseling forces people to look at their flaws, be honest about them and find methods for resolution. This is why the process can be incredibly difficult for some individuals and why they may never benefit from counseling sessions. However, if a person is in an abusive or disloyal relationship, sometimes the best bet is to simply leave, as therapy may be futile in saving a ship that has already sunk.
