Living With A Child With Oppositional Defiant Disorder

Parent-Management Training: Manage Your Reactions

ODD is not personal even though it may feel like it sometimes. It's easy to get our feelings hurt when a child is reacting aggressively in physical and verbal ways. Remember they're suffering from a disorder and patience is the ultimate tool in a parent's toolkit.

Work with your child to develop a behavior plan, which will involve coming up with troubling behaviors, what the warnings will look like, what reminders are necessary that work for both of you, and what the consequences will be for unfollowed requests. The last thing parents want to do is develop a plan without the child because it's setting them up for failure. Once a behavior plan is made, consistency is key to adjusting to ODD behaviors. Well-defined rewards and praise should be proffered when appropriate. Established boundaries and consequences for any negative behaviors should be made clear as part of a behavior plan. It's not just you and your spouse who need to know the discipline process but your child as well.

Remember, this is a learning experience for everyone involved, so find room for compromise when you can. Take time to brainstorm with your child and find ways to have mutual agreements and demonstrate problem-solving skills. Your child will take cues from you and take in feedback from their environment. If you are constantly flying off the handle because you are frustrated, your child will pick up on the behavior and mimic it themselves.

Keep reading to reveal the significance of picking your battles.

Pick Your Battles

It may sometimes feel like an uphill battle, or like you’re entering into World War III when it comes to disciplining a child with ODD. Thankfully, it doesn’t have to feel this way. Try to always pick your battles when it comes to disciplining an ODD child. As you need to remain consistent with discipline, an ODD child has difficulty accepting any type of authority, therefore you need to stay vigilant and only choose the battles that are worth pursuing and let go of the small things and avoid power struggles. For instance, if you give your child a time-out for misbehaving, do not add more time to the clock for any additional arguing or rude behavior, as you do not want to reinforce negative behavior by continually disciplining your child.

Similar to managing your reactions, if you begin to feel overwhelmed or know you are about to overreact and completely escalate a situation, give yourself a personal time-out. To properly discipline and help your child, you need to maintain a sense of calm to deal with the situation effectively. This is not only a fantastic way to ensure you provide a good role model for your child to model their actions after, but it also gives a positive solution to negative behavior.

Continue reading to learn the three steps to discipline an ODD child.