Living With A Child With Oppositional Defiant Disorder

Calmly Discipline In Three Steps

Positive discipline begins with having a behavior plan. Your child should know the consequences of not following commands. They should display the expected behavior but if not, here is how to calmly discipline in three easy steps.

The first is to give a clear, concise, and calm command. For example, if you asked your child to do a task, but they continue to play video games, it’s ok to remind them to please turn off the video game. You have reiterated your command and done so politely with a calm tone. The next step is to allow time for a response. If your child argues and begins to escalate, stay calm and do not engage. Remind them of the consequence laid out in the behavior plan. For example, you could say, "We agreed you have two minutes to respond to my request, I’m setting a timer now."

The final step is to enforce the consequence. This is where things can get a little dicey, but it is important to remember to stick to the behavior plan. To continue with our example, let’s say the timer does go off and they have not stopped playing video games, or they have continued to argue. You could calmly say, “Ok, the timer has gone off, and according to the behavior plan we both agreed to, this action has a consequence. I am turning off the video game, and it will be off limits for the time agreed.”

At this point, you have remained calm, clear, and concise with your requests. Your child will either choose to continue to fight or accept the consequences. Being consistent with discipline is key to building the skill in your child.

Continue reading to learn about the importance of getting everyone on board.